Lots of David Letterman/Sarah Palin Nonsense

Posted by Michael Dance

By now I'm sure you've heard about the David Letterman/Sarah Palin controversy.

Letterman made some extremely unremarkable jokes about Bristol Palin last week. Real run-of-the-mill late night talk show stuff.

Sarah Palin, sniffing publicity, released a statement condemning Letterman for attacking her 14-year-old daughter. (The jokes didn't mention Bristol by name, so apparently Palin misunderstood.) Todd also released a statement, saying it was despicable to make jokes about raping a 14-year-old girl. (None of the jokes were about rape.)

The next night, Letterman had a short segment in which he patiently explained everything that the above paragraph says in parentheses:

Still, it was a full-blown "controversy" by now thanks to the Palin sheep who have apparently never heard a joke on a late night show, ever. She also appeared on the Today show to complain, again, that Letterman was disrepecting her 14-year-old.

Uh, who brought the 14-year-old into this mess, exactly? Letterman or Palin?

You can make of all this whatever you want; I know she has her supporters. But I want to read you an excerpt from her first statement:

Jokes aimed at a 14-year-old girl is not only disgusting but it reminds us that some Hollywood/New York entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands: that acceptance of any appropriate sexual comments about an underage girl who could be anyone's daughter...[Etc. etc.]

Notice what she did just there? This woman has an almost pathological need to split America up: New York/Hollywood vs. the rest of the country, red vs. blue states, city folk vs. Alaskans. It's a recurring theme with her; hell, it defines her. Remember when she said on the campaign trail that left-leaning northern Virginia wasn't as "pro-American" as some parts of the country?

City-dwellers are lying liberals who are out of touch with the country; Alaskans and farmers have the moral high ground. That's not a gross generalization to Palin; that's fact.

Unfortunately, there are two things wrong with it. The first is that most Americans aren't in the mood anymore. We don't want culture wars. They suck and are filled with people like you, Mrs. Palin. We had our fill during the two Bush campaigns and the Swift-Boat veterans and O'Reilly and Hannity.

The second is that this "America" she's talking about is way smaller than she seems to think. "Middle America" takes up a lot of geographical space, but there are barely any people there. Alaska is the biggest state in the union geographically, but has three electoral votes. Why? Because barely anybody lives there.

No disrespect to people in rural areas, mind you; that's not my point. I grew up in a tiny town that was derided by rival schools as the area's "hick town." Rural conservatives are practically my people.

I'm saying, instead, that this fabled war Palin sees between "Pro-American" small town-dwellers and "Anti-American" evil city dwellers doesn't freaking exist. And thank Heavens for that.

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Lots of David Letterman/Sarah Palin Nonsense

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