"It's not what you think, we're just friends!"

So apparently Madonna and A-Rod had an affair that was...non-sexual? Either way, the baseball star's wife, Cynthia, is divorcing him, according to People:

A-Rod was smitten with Madonna, but makes no claim of any sexual liaison. "The correct analysis is a relationship," [Cynthia's lawyer] says. "Some people categorize an affair as something as sexual infidelity. We’re not claming that. It’s an affair of the heart."

There's a joke here that correlates A-Rod's supposed failure to seal the deal with Madonna to A-Rod's failure to win anything for the Yankees, but I'll let you come up with it yourself.

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