Brangelina Twin Mania

Yep, the hottest couple on the planet finally welcomed twins into the world, immediately eclipsing similar but somehow less exciting news from Matthew McConaughey, Nicole Kidman, and my brother-in-law's sister. This we already knew. Here's some things you may not have burned into your skull yet:

-The boy is named Knox, the girl is named Vivienne. Question: why do celebrities name their kids nutty names that will not serve them well among their peers from the ages of 8 to 16? Answer: because celebrities are not like us. They live in miniature, insular worlds where no one ever tells them they're wrong and they can get anything they want on a whim. Imagine the psychiatric damage that does to a person (and imagine how much you want it).

-The small French publication Nice-Matin scooped everybody else in the world on the twins' birth, apparently because Brad Pitt wanted a local publication to know first, and because it has a reputation for "not playing the game of paparazzi." (WENN)

-In Touch Weekly incorrectly had it on their website this morning that the couple gave birth to two girls. Somebody with way too much time on his hands then wrote a blog post blasting In Touch Weekly for irresponsible journalism, complete with "Shame on you!" ramblings and smoking-gun screencaps. I chuckled for a good thirty seconds.

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