American Tragedy!

American Tragedy!

Okay, so Chris Daughtry got the boot on "American Idol". So what?

People - "American Idol" is designed to make it impossible for "rockers" to win. It's that simple.

1) Rock fans will not watch "American Idol". Why should they? How much Barry Manilow, David Foster and other maudlin pop candy can a rock fan take? Elvis? Oh c'mon - that was striictly crass promotion - the company that owns most of the Elvis Presley estate (i.e. song licensing and the Graceland tours) bought "American Idol" rights owner 19 Entertainment last year.

2) The backing group is completely not made for rock songs. Did anybody see the Queen show? It's was, to use a Simon Cowellism, "awbsoloootley dreadful!" "Idol" producers think an electric guitar is some kind of weird European sex toy. If somebody used it as an actual instrument, it would have been smashed over that loopy Paula Abdul's head months, if not years, ago.

3) Producers do not want a rocker to win for fear of ratings decline. Think I'm kidding? Ask Nigel Lythgoe (producer) how worried he was about CBS launching "Rock Star" in 2005.

4) Producers will do anything to pop-size the rocker to the point where his/her core audience flees in droves. This is done using the process known as "Metrosexualization". By the 2005 finale, Bo Bice was just about down to Clay Aiken with long hair. To avoid a repeat threat, look what the heck they did to Daughtry. Tight leather pants with that annoying chain hanging out of his ass. Red sunglasses stolen from the Bono wardrobe - Bono post-2004 that is instead of pre-1995 when the pompous politico windbag was actually useful. Heck, I'm surprised he was doing Ford commericals instead of plugging a Shirley Temple canned drink!

And what kind of "drama" are people talking about when Seacrest announced he was gone? I mean, geez - the second Ryan spouted "people said you will be the next American Idol", the gig was up! Sure enough, we find out that Seacrest knows who is eliminated two hours before taping. What happened to the good old days when "drama" could be developed by having the host read the card for the first time live? What gives? Was somebody afraid that Seacrest's botox cheeks would sag?

Anyway, "American Idol" will be down to the dude who can sing but has as much stage presence as a lamp post, the hot chick who badly needs vocal lessons, and Joe Cocker-lite. Daughtry can either get a decent career without being known as "American Idol Winner" or "American Idol Runner-up" or as the lead singer of some late 1980's washout metal band looking for a few extra bucks to fund their retirement or some fresh 19 year-old groupies looking for a good time. If you don't know which of the first three persons I'm referring to, you don't watch the show to begin with which at least garners you my respect and admiration.

Either way, life will go on.

Articles:

Chris Daughtry ready to launch his music career [Yahoo! News]

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