Pain in the Ashlee

Let me break down this little Ashlee Simpson Loses It at McDonald’s incident a little further because the cellcam edits just don’t tell the whole tale. I do this for readers not located in Centre of the Universe, Canada (also known as Toronto because Toronto readers would not know otherwise.) It’s my understanding that Ashlee’s handlers – basically, whomever her pervert of a dad Joe hires these days – seemed to have taken offence in that Ashlee’s private right to consume a burger as she pleases was compromised.

Next time, Joe might want to hire a Canadian publicist to escort the little spitfire because, at the very least, the blonde dye job has actually affected her brain cells. Apparently, before the Big Mac Attack hit, Ashlee took in a couple of hours of good private drinking at the Four Seasons Hotel. Heck, any level-C celebrity could tell you that you might as well try for a “private” drink in the middle of Times Square. That is because, right off the bat, just about anybody in the entertainment biz who comes to Toronto either stays at the Four Seasons or The Intercontinental down the road. In fact, the Four Seasons is the main headquarters hotel for the Toronto International Film Festival every year. Thus, you can expect snapperazzi to comb the place non-stop.

Where Ashlee chose to drink is bad enough. Then she figures she’ll treat her buzz with a 1:30 am visit to the nearyby Bloor Street Golden Arches. Hey, what the heck – who would hit a Mickey D at 1:30 am? Well, considering the McD in question is only located in the middle of the campus of the largest university in the country (the University of Toronto), I would guess an awful lot of drunken and/or stoned folk.

The rest, as they say, is history. One final thought though. Did anybody notice that Ashlee hurled her abuse at a black counter girl? So far, the event has garnered very little tabloid coverage beyond the internet. Wanna bet if this was, say, L'il Kim venting on a white counter girl what kind of news story it would be?

Fact of life - dimwit blonde white girls can get away with anything. If that were not the case, Paris Hilton would prabably be well into her career as a floor-mopper...

TAGS: toronto ashlee simpson drunk

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[ READER COMMENTS ]

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bland said:

This is rather lazy writing pretending to be clever. Will the site be a success based on how many 14-year-old girls express outrage? Guess what – they've read all this before on a thousand other sites.

You gotta try harder next time.

Posted at 11:50 AM, on November 17 2005

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Pain in the Ashlee

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