


News Item: "G-Spot" renewed for second season following receipt of a funding grant from the Canadian Television Fund
For all three of you who care, the Canadian Television Fund is basically a 50-50 joint venture of the Federal Government (translation: your tax dollars) and the Canadian cable industry (read: the guys you pay every month for an automatic 50-60 channels, even though you only want to subscribe to about 12 of them.) Its mandate, according to press information, is to "support the production of high quality, distinctively Canadian television."
Like "G-Spot". Uh, sure. No, really. In fact, this show is so "high quality" and "distinctively Canadian" that CTF decided it merited over $2.3 million (CDN) in funding for season two.
According to the producers, G-Spot is a "contemporary comedy series" (note the exclusion of the word "Canadian") that follows "the romantic misadventures and career of Gigi, an actress whose early roles in critically acclaimed films have given way to an ever-growing repertoire of late-night B-movies." Unofficially, it's also supposed to be based on the real-life adventures of its star and lead writer, Brigitte Bako. How do we know this? Because Ms. Bako actually announces with that little disclaimer "pure fiction. Any relation to actual characters or events is purely coincidental" found at the end of every film recorded in history and displayed in 3-point font long after you left the theater right after every episode [nudge, nudge, wink, wink]
In fairness to Ms. Bako, she's hardly the first thespian ever to translate her glaring insecurities into some form of "entertainment". She may be the first though to turn it into something about as enjoyable as running one's penis through a meat grinder. This is remarkable when you consider that she's gone out of her way to basically re-craft "Sex and The City" (right down to showcasing four sex-starved female friends and one actor version of "Mr. Big") and base it in that "distinctively Canadian" city of...Toronto? Montreal? Vancouver? Yeah, right. Try Los Angeles!
Now maybe the poobahs at the Canadian Television Fund were too busy watching CBC to have even heard of "Sex and the City" - but the least they could have done was do some research on "contemporary comedy series" and Ms. Bako herself. I'm open to people who know otherwise but I don't know too many "contemporary" comedy series featuring at least one shot per episode of man-ass or Ms. Bako either sitting on a toilet or covering her, um, "assets" (or both in the case of two of the first four episodes). However, I DO know how to check out Ms. Bako's career, without costing taxpayers more than about 30 cents of internet usage time, on IMDB.com where about the only "critically acclaimed" work of hers I could find was a little Canadian ditty called "I Love A Man in Uniform" which may have actually played in Toronto for three weeks (as opposed to the customary two for the average English Canadian film production) but I'll bet didn't even make it to the Peoria, Illinois art house cinema, let alone earn a Roger Ebert review. We do learn, however, that she enjoyed somewhat of a career appearing in a few episodes of Showtime's glorified soft-porn pablum "Red Shoe Diaries" displaying the kind of "talent" that earned her "image" frequent downloads and re-postings to web sites frequented by teenage boys looking for something to do while keeping their right hands occupied.
Oh, by the way Gigi/Brigitte - according to your scripts, your age is 28? (Episode I) Or is it 30? (Episode IV) Or maybe 33? (also Episode IV. Seriously!) You're actually 38 (and sure as hell look at least that). Deal with it.
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