Cruise Control

No, this will have nothing to do with the baby watch. Enough tabloids have that one covered.

I caught this little ditty about Tommy C. whining about his "coward" of a late father and how we was an abused child.

Seriously, what is this guy's damage? 20 years after the guy is buried six feet under, the boy wants to share with the world his ordeal with recessed memory? For a guy who sues or threatens to sue every publication on the planet that has anything to say or opine about his personal life, he sure puts on the Publicity Whore act very well.

So let's see - because dad abused him so much, he's going to be a much more attentive father when Katie (Holmes) drops the ball immeninently. Right. The same guy who wants his wife to deliver silently. The same guy who bailed on the sanctity of marriage #1 because to do so even a month later would have really strangled him under California community property laws.

But I REALLY dug this part of the interview coming up in Parade magazine:

["The actor admits he attempted to reconcile with his dad on the latter's death bed, but unfortunately failed.

He laments, "(He) was in the hospital dying of cancer, and he would only meet me on the basis that I didn't ask him anything about the past. "When I saw him in pain, I thought, 'What a lonely life.' He was in his late 40s. It was sad.""]

My heart bled. I mean.......that's the most touching storyline I heard since a few years ago when I saw this pretty good Paul Thomas Anderson film called "Magnolia". See, there was this scene when a loudmouth sexist blowhard confronts his terminally ill father on his deathbed and basically blasts him for every problem in his own life. The father was played by Jason Robards. The son played by.........yup......Tom Cruise!

It's time all you drooling teenies that keep Tom Cruise posters in your lockers, Gen Xers who have your new Paul Newman, and lesbians everywhere who pine for him to be your poolboy to face the honest truth:

The guy's a putz.

Nice acting job Tommy but it just won't wash. One of these days, somebody will have to explain how such a cruel man developed a son who collects $20 million paychecks easier than the rest of us collect leaves.

He doesn't need Scientology for awareness. He needs what the Red Forman character in "That 70's Show" would call a firm boot to his ass. Heck, if he didn't bring "Maverick" Mitchell to the world, I would have been happy to deliver it myself.

Articles:

Cruise recalls childhood abuse [Hollywood.com]

TAGS: Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Parade