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Canadian Terrorism

So the headlines read that scores of Arabs were arrested in Toronto for planning some kind of massive terrorist operation. Americans need not worry. That sounds like a homeland issue. Mind you, anybody who knows Toronto knows it wants to be a big American metropolis but distinct in the sense that i) it hates even the remotest connotation of being associated with anything American; and ii) welcomes American tourist dollars by the truckload (no easy task these days since the American dollar has been disintegrating into the toilet paper that the Canadian dollar had been for over 20 years.)

Actually, what Americans really have to worry about is the great cultural invasion. Has anybody looked at today's TV listings? Look at NBC. The double-bill starts with the 90-minute version of "Deal or No Deal" hosted by Toronto-born Howie Mandel and featuring a "surprise" appearance by Quebec-born Celine Dion (although someone needs to tell me what's so surprising about an appearance that's being bragged about anywhere that people can see or read.) Then there's the 90-minute finale of "The Apprentice" which has been so lousy this season that the only character of interest was a Toronto-born ex-pat lawyer named Brent who has the worst sweat gland problem this side of Mandisa on "American Idol". Why do I get the feeling that the winner will get a chance to oversee the building that Donald Trump is supposed to be building in Toronto (although he's been always rumored to be building something there for about the last 20 years). It would be suitable option considering that the two finalists are incredibly uninteresting and would be best suited being shipped off for a year to Canada.

On the other hand, maybe there's nothing to worry about. After all, who watches NBC anymore? I'm guessing there will be more publicity tomorrow about who can find the first picture of Baby Chosen One in Namibia than anything related to Canada.......except those terrorists (assuming they actually were which, considering the media and authorities went out of their way to quickly publish every single name involved, better be a very accurate characterization.)

TAGS: Terrorists NBC Howie Mandel Celine Dion