An Oscar Dressing Down

[Second in a series]

Since the ceremony itself has become boring and monotonous – even for the nominees who, by this time, are participating in their 612th award show – the big element that viewers (seem to) care about is the pre-show walk down that block of red carpet.

I’ve never understood why this is such a big deal. Nobody of sane mind would replicate the gowns for their wedding party and certainly no bloke on the street will ever pay to wear duplication unless they were drunk as a skunk and went on a big craps run in Vegas. Heck, the celebrities themselves have no use for the stuff (although they’re more than happy to oblige the myriad of designers willing to loan them the stuff at no charge.)

Don’t ask me what passes as good fashion but was this year’s display pretty darn awful? You could have easily broken the women down into two camps: the big-bazongas ones (whether they became that way through certain surgeries or good underwire bras is another story) who got dresses tight enough at the waist to render them unable to eat a walnut; and the ones with no boobies at all who get loose top dresses best-suited for….well, see the first camp. I can’t even discuss jewels because so few of the actresses even wore any (I guess Harry Winston demanded a deposit.)

So, if you really dissect things down from what the celebrity butt-smoochers and the, shall we say, “effeminate” fashion critic brigade had to say and just use my criteria for removing the waist, you find the fashion winners boiled down to ….. Jessica Alba and Michelle Williams (although the latter might depend on whether you had HDTV. Or an aversion to glaring color…)

TAGS: fashion oscars jessica alba michele williams

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Recent Entries:
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An Oscar Dressing Down

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