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David Letterman. And That Whole Mess.

Posted by Michael Dance

On last Friday's Late Show with David Letterman, Letterman explained in a ten-minute monologue that an extortion attempt had been made upon him: some guy had proof that Letterman had slept with a number of his female staff workers over the years, and he wanted Letterman to pay him $2 million. Letterman went to the authorities, and the guy was arrested. Here's the big confession, jokes and all:

Letterman tapes his show in the late afternoon, so news was already leaked to the press about the scandal a number of hours before the show aired.

Since then, we've found out a lot more. And interestingly, the big story seems not to be Letterman's affairs (he only got married to his wife, Regina Lasko, in March, so they're not technically "affairs," though he did date her for 23 years...hmm, wonder why it took so long to get married). The big story is Letterman's alleged extortionist.

Robert Halderman is a producer for CBS's 48 Hours. He's known among co-workers as a big personality and a smart guy who could get things done.

So why after covering countless criminal cases for his own show did he do something as stupid as try to extort $2 million from a celebrity? Gawker notes his marriage was in shambles and he had to pay insane child support. And also, Stephanie Birkitt, one of Letterman's alleged partners, also had a relationship with Halderman. Which presumably has to be connected somehow.

Halderman plead not guilty, and his lawyer is already trying to character-assassinate Letterman. I bet it just keeps getting more bizarre as we find out more about both Halderman and Letterman.

On last night's show, Letterman effectively apologized for his earlier apology, saying that by admitting he slept with female staff workers, he was subjecting his entire staff to an embarrassing publicity circus. He also apologized to his wife: "I've got a lot of work to do."

But most amusingly, he made fun of himself for his own long history of making fun of celebrities who had extramarital affairs: "Hey, Bill Clinton was in the news..." trails off. "Mark Sanford..." trails off. "Elliot Spitzer..." trails off. Then: "This is phase one. Of the scandal. Phase two, I go on Oprah and cry."

TAGS: Controversies, David Letterman, Robert Halderman, Scandals, Stephanie Birkitt
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Jon and Kate Plus Eight Minus Jon

Posted by Michael Dance

After getting them on the air, ruining their relationship, and exploiting a family tragedy for ratings, TLC has fired one half of Jon and Kate.

From Entertainment Weekly:

Well, it’s finally happened. TLC has yanked Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus Eight — excuse me, “adapted to the changing Gosselin family,” as this morning’s press release says — and henceforth, we can watch the new, new, new Kate Plus Eight...TLC says in its statement that the new show will "recalibrate the program to keep pace with the family… and Kate as a newly single mother raising 5 year-old sextuplets and 8 year-old twins."

I don't mean to lay all the blame on this never-ending public debacle on TLC. Jon Gosselin has proved himself to be a tool of epic proportions. While they were still married, everybody seemed to think Kate was a total bitch and Jon was the classic put-upon husband, but now thanks to a ridiculous fashion sense, a very public mid-life crisis, and lots of gallivanting around with younger women while you have eight kids at home, you idiot, it doesn't matter if they're with their mom or their nannies, just think about how this is going to affect them, I'm frankly glad to have him out of the show.

And I'm sure he is too -- he only ever expressed reluctance for having his life turn into a media circus. (On that point, who can blame him?)

And, to bring things full circle, I'm sure TLC is, not least because the show rhymes better without him.

image credit

TAGS: Jon Kate Plus 8, Jon And Kate Plus 8, Jon And Kate Plus Eight, Jon Gosselin, Jon Gosselin Fired, Kate Gosselin, Kate Plus 8, Kate Plus Eight, Tlc
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Ellen DeGeneres the 4th Judge on American Idol!

Posted by Michael Dance

Wow...what a wholly random choice. And, most likely, a bad one.

The producers of American Idol no doubt wanted to grab a big name and surprise people. But look, it's not like the show is desperate for publicity. Yes, its ratings are sliding (slightly), but gimmicks like this will not turn the show around -- more likely, after the show is over, people will look back on it as "one of those things they tried when the ratings were sliding."

I like Ellen a lot. In the right situation, she is hilarious and a lot of fun. "The right situation" is usually in hosting situations: her daytime talk show is successful for a reason, and I admired her laid-back style she brought to hosting the Oscars.

But sharing the spotlight with three other people, all of whom, unlike her, actually know stuff about music? I have some doubts that this will last past the upcoming season.

She'll begin, by the way, after all the audition rounds, which have already taken place with guest judges Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige, Shania Twain, Avril Lavigne, Neil Patrick Harris, Katy Perry, and Joe Jonas.

TAGS: American Idol, Avril Lavigne, Ellen Degeneres, Fox, Joe Jonas, Katy Perry, Mary J Blige, Neil Patrick Harris, Shania Twain, Victoria Beckham
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Michael Jackson's Death Ruled a Homicide

Posted by Michael Dance

Unfortunately, that isn't a joke. From Entertainment Weekly:

The Los Angeles coroner’s office has ruled Michael Jackson’s death a homicide, the Associated Press reports. The pop star had “lethal levels” of the surgical anesthetic propofol in his system, along with two other narcotics, when he died on June 25, an unnamed source told the AP. Jackson’s personal physician, Dr. Conrad Murray, who was present at the time of the singer’s death, told officials he administered 25 to 50 mg of propofol to Jackson nightly, possibly for as long as six weeks, as treatment for insomnia. Search warrants executed at the home Jackson rented turned up large quantities of propofol, as well as several other sedatives. The coroner’s findings could lead to charges against the doctor in Jackson’s death.

Sounds like an involuntary manslaughter conviction. Then again, I'm not a lawyer, and am basing that only on my experiences of watching hours and hours of Law & Order reruns.

Still, I can't bring myself to care. I'm sick of the constant talk, I'm sick of all the bandwagon jumpers who pretended they were still huge fans, I'm sick of the media giving this guy more attention than stuff like the Iranian election or, you know, good people who died that didn't like sleeping in the same bed with little boys.

Right after Jackson died, my dad -- who doesn't pay attention to celebrities to the point where he asked my mom after watching Ocean's 11 which one was George Clooney and which one was Brad Pitt -- accurately predicted the entire trajectory. I was complaining about how Jackson had taken over the news cycle entirely, and my dad just chuckled a bit, sighed, then said: "yep, and you know, as soon as it dies down you'll start hearing the conspiracy theories and murder claims."

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TAGS: Deaths, Involuntary Manslaughter, Jacko, Michael Jackson, Murder, Rip
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Chuck's Gay Kiss on 'Gossip Girl'

Posted by Michael Dance

Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick), certainly the most entertaining male character on Gossip Girl, will be sharing a kiss with another guy in the upcoming third season.

The other guy will be actor Neal Bledsoe, who will play NYU's gay head of freshman affairs. He gets to select an incoming student to deliver the freshman speech, and since Blair (Leighton Meester) really, really wants to give it, she pimps out her own boyfriend Chuck to "convince" him that she's the girl for the job.

In the books, Chuck was a full-on bisexual, something the TV series hasn't even hinted at until now.

I went to NYU, so I might check out this season a little more closely to see what they get right and what they get wrong. I don't seem to remember any "freshman speech," so there's one already for the latter category.

And yes, I know this post is about Chuck, not Blair. But Leighton Meester is just way too hot. Sorry.

image source

TAGS: Blair Waldorf, Chuck Bass, Ed Westwick, Gay, Gossip Girl, Hotness, Leighton Meester, The Cw
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But What Will We Do Without Paula?

Posted by Michael Dance

As I've explained before, I don't watch American Idol. I usually end up seeing a couple of the audition episodes each season and then quit -- so consistently, in fact, that I've never seen a non-audition episode. It's just that reality competitions in general are a phenomenon I can easily live without. Very, very easily.

And yet I'm intrigued by Paula Abdul's announcement that she'll be leaving the show. For the following reasons:

-It happened after only one season of adding fourth judge Kara Dioguardi. And thus history will consider Dioguardi to be Abdul's de facto replacement, even though it supposedly wasn't supposed to be like that.

-I'm really, really curious how this will affect the show's ratings. Idol has been sliding for a few years, but the decline has been relatively soft. My guess is, the show will open just as strong as it always does in the upcoming season, but will lose viewers faster.

-Paula's an amusing tabloid presence, so it'll be interesting to see what she does next.

A while ago, I guess Simon Cowell said he wouldn't do the show without Paula, but don't be worried about that for a second. At the end of the first season, he said he would only do the show for one more year.

TAGS: American Idol, Controversies, Departures, Kara Dioguardi, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Simon Cowell
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Twilight Drama! (The Best Kind!)

Posted by Michael Dance

On Wednesday, it was quietly -- as quietly as possible -- announced that Bryce Dallas Howard would be taking over the role of Victoria in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse, a character played by actress Rachelle LaFevre in Twilight and the upcoming The Twilight Saga: New Moon. (Yes, I do insist on calling them by their lame full names.) The excuse was that LaFevre had a scheduling conflict.

On Thursday, all Hell, as they say, broke loose.

First, LaFevre released a statement independently that got the blogosphere in a tizzy:

I was stunned by Summit’s decision to recast the role of Victoria for Eclipse...My commitment to Barney’s Version is only ten days. Summit picked up my option for Eclipse. Although the production schedule for Eclipse is over three months long, Summit said they had a conflict during those ten days and would not accommodate me. Given the length of filming for Eclipse, never did I fathom I would lose the role over a 10 day overlap.

Then it turned into a real brawl when Summit Entertainment responded:

Summit had acted in good faith that she would be available to fulfill her obligations both in terms of rehearsals and shooting availability for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. We feel that her choice to withhold her scheduling conflict information from us can be viewed as a lack of cooperative spirit which affected the entire production.
Contrary to Ms. Lefevre’s statement, it is simply untrue that the Studio dismissed her over a ten day overlap. It is not about a ten day overlap, but instead about the fact that The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is an ensemble production that has to accommodate the schedules of numerous actors while respecting the established creative vision of the filmmaker and most importantly the story.

Ms. Lefevre’s commitment to the other project – which she chose to withhold from Summit until the last possible moment – makes her unfortunately unavailable to perform the role of Victoria in The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

There are two separate ways to read this:

(A) LaFevre was trying to pull a fast one over Summit: she was worried that Summit would be pissed about the other film so decided to wait until the last minute to tell them; it backfired and Summit decided to not taking any B.S. from some diva.

(B) Summit saw an opportunity to recast the role with a much bigger name actress and grabbed it, kicking LaFevre to the curb with a B.S. excuse.

Chances are there's a big element of truth to both of those options, which is to say, there's a lot of B.S. floating around. LaFevre's "never did I fathom" line is B.S., because she was obviously worried if she waited until the last minute to tell them. And Summit's "It is not about a ten day overlap, but instead about the fact that The Twilight Saga: Eclipse is an ensemble production, blah blah blah" is even bigger B.S., because replacing her with Howard immediately was incredibly opportunistic.

Of course, now that it's turned into a controversy, the rabid Twilight fans are tuned into the whole thing, which introduces a whole other level of madness. As Nikki Finke puts it:

Here's the problem: once a studio lets the fans into the filmmaking process, it's impossible to keep them out. And that's been the situation with Summit and its lucrative Twilight Saga franchise from the start. ... When I broke the news that director Catherine Hardwicke was being replaced on the sequel New Moon, fans were in an uproar. Eventually, they calmed down -- but only because new pick Chris Weitz began talking directly to the Twilighters. And kept talking, ad nauseum. Very few directors do that. Either they're too arrogant to care, or they don't want pander (which [is what] it is). But now Summit is stuck with a bunch of buttinskis who feel as if they have ownership in the franchise. They expect to be consulted about every decision.

TAGS: Bryce Dallas Howard, Controversies, Eclipse, New Moon, Rachelle Lafevre, Summit Entertainment, The Twilight Saga, Twilight, Victoria
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Kendra Wilkinson Gets Her Show Renewed, Talks Smack about Jon & Kate

Posted by Michael Dance

You know who doesn't really bother me? Kendra Wilkinson, the flake from The Girls Next Door who got her own show. She honestly seems like a nice person. Not necessarily somebody I would hang out with, but...in terms of reality show stars, it gets so much worse.

According to Entertainment Weekly, E! just renewed her Kendra show for another 12 episodes. That's not too surprising; at 2 million viewers, it's pretty well rated for a cable show.

Meanwhile, Wilkinson told E!Online that she won't whore out her new baby for the show, unlike, say, Jon and Kate Plus 8:

"We don't watch that anymore," Kendra tells me. "I watched back when it was good and they weren't all Hollywood."
She continued, "I feel bad for the kids. If we do have a show, none of that's going to happen...I want to be able to spend quality time with my child and not really give the world too much."

You tell 'em.

The buzz on Jon and Kate has died down a bit now that they've announced their separation, but online "who's worse, Jon or Kate?" debates still rage on. And I think increasingly, despite Kate's rampant bitchiness, people are realizing Jon is a no-personality schlub who doesn't want to take responsibility for his choices. So I guess Wilkinson has it right: they both suck.

TAGS: Jon Kate Plus 8, Jon And Kate Plus 8, Jon And Kate Plus Eight, Kendra, Kendra Wilkinson, Smack Talk
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